A Fire at the Gate

Wake-up feel: 5.

Woke at 04:22 with a headache. I was not going to let it choose the day.

Into the cold pond. Out, and onto the winding road — Bodden and reed to the left, rapeseed and the rising sun to the right.

At the gate, on my way out, a young woman sat on the ground, a small fire in front of her. We noticed each other. I went on. She stayed with her morning.

Two people awake at the same hour, each at their own rite, neither asking anything of the other. I did not break her morning and she did not break mine.

Grey cloud, a band of pink low on the horizon, the fields green on either side. Birds in full voice.

I stopped to take in the different shades of it — grey, green, pink, each one its own.

The wind came out of the west — not a breeze, not light, not strong. Steady. Steadfast. Not hesitating.

The Bodden ran in even ripples, a white cap here and there.

Past my usual turning point this morning, on to a place I found only yesterday — the highest ground on this road. From up there the swans lay scattered across the water, grey on grey, the far shore green behind them.

I turned for home. The loneliness was still with me, where it had been since yesterday, since the talk with my host.

An old companion. This morning, for the first time so plainly, I wondered whether it has been the thing driving me all these years.

A little way on, a roebuck stood off in the field. We noticed each other. He did not bark. He did not flinch. He held my eye.

The cuckoo called from the bush — three times, four, maybe five. Then nothing.

Fruit early. Then the Moon into Taurus at six, and the day turned to Root — earth coming up under yesterday's fire.

When I came back through the gate, she was gone.

"Seven places were on the table. The number was never the question. Now I am listening, the direction has been read. I am here to serve, with. The needs of the people who have been close to me all these years belong in this too."

Day 79 — Phase 12 — Ego / Other — Liver — Jasper — 1 Corinthians 13
Gut Nisdorf, Mecklenburg-Vorpommern, Baltic Coast
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